lightoftruth

When she's not at work, Leonard is the director and founding visionary of the Light of Truth Center in Baltimore, where she is helping women recovering from drug addiction make improvements in their lives.

Home Making

Leonard had been thinking about how to start such a program for years. In recovery herself for more than a decade, she had experienced first-hand what kinds of approaches to addiction worked and what didn't, and had a clear vision of what a successful program should be.

“Recovery is a change of ideas, a change of perspective. You don’t get that overnight.”- Vaile Leonard

When a favorite uncle died in 1999 and left her his house, Leonard began to implement her innovative vision of a home filled with love and encouragement where women could take the time they needed to heal "from the inside out." Explained Leonard, "recovery is a change of ideas, a change of perspective. You don't get that overnight."

With aid from Lucent organizations like WILL (Women in Leadership at Lucent) and ABLE (Alliance of Black Lucent Technologies Employees), as well as individual donors, Leonard filled her uncle's house with beds, curtains, kitchen equipment and books.

But furnishings were only part of making a home. From the start, Leonard and volunteer staff members at Light of Truth Center focused on creating an environment that would make residents feel safe, respected and loved — feelings most of them would not have experienced for many years. "We look at drug addiction as a disease, not criminal activity," Leonard said.

To achieve the right environment, she limited the number of residents to six, so that the atmosphere would be intimate and family-like. She insisted on rules that would keep the house a pleasant, safe place for everyone. She didn't put a cap on how long women could stay, though most have felt that six to nine months was enough. And, she found ways to teach them skills that many people take for granted.

"Treatment programs can remove drugs from the body," she said. "But they can't supply people with life skills they may never have mastered."

Many of the women had to learn or re-learn certain skills, including decision-making, having conversations or identifying emotions. Leonard and certified volunteer counselors work with the women to help them learn what they need to know.

"We tell them, 'If you want a new life, you can have it.' We encourage them, and try to give them the skills they need to make it happen. We're geared to helping them be successful," she said.

On a Journey

“We operate under the 'each one reach one' philosophy. The women who have lived here go out and help others.” Vaile Leonard

Since the program's beginning it has served 30 women, only three of whom have returned to addiction. One of those three is currently back at Light of Truth Center.

"We operate under the 'each one reach one' philosophy," Leonard said. "The women who have lived here go out and help others. Three of them are now directing similar centers in the area. The others have found housing and jobs and are proud of themselves and what they've accomplished."

Recently, the program held its first fundraiser, a big success. The Center relies almost entirely on the generosity of donors, and Leonard's friends at Lucent are still important contributors.

In fact, at Christmas, when it looked as though there would be no gifts for the residents of Light of Truth Center, Brenda Budzynski, LWS Engineering director at Hunt Valley, packed a big red stocking with presents for everyone at the house.

"They were just little tokens," Budzynski said. "Toiletries, watches — things women would like and need. Vaile said they were all delighted. Many of them come to the house with only the clothes on their backs. And many had not had a Christmas for years. It was just my small contribution to her work."

"Vaile is on a journey," Hargis said. "I'm amazed at what she's accomplished, and I hope I can help her in this awesome work."

— by Suzanne Sidhu

Making A Difference...

Each issue of On Purpose Woman will highlight an area woman who is making a difference in her community.

Vaile Leonard is one of those women you notice. She has a strong presence, yet warmth that drew me in right away the first time we met. It is a wonderful combination for the work she does with the women at the Light of Truth Center, a Recovery House she founded in 1999.

I spent a couple of hours with Vaile and three of the women who live at the Center asking questions and listening to stories about their lives. I left there very moved by what they shared.

Vaile is very open about her path and what brought her to this work. She is in recovery herself and says she had a real time of it. Trying to get clean was very difficult, staying clean even more so. The problems with programs that were; available left her with a deep desire to do something different. To provide a place that feels like home, where the women can feel the love and not feel like they are in a facility. In Vaile's words, "Often the more conventional programs treat the case and not the person. I don't receive grants so I have the freedom to find what works and try it. Each woman who lives here can be on her own path and do what is best for her situation.” Vaile's uncle passed away and left her the house. She told me he was a wonderful man and a pillar of the community. This is a monument to him in some ways.

Vaile had the idea for a recovery house about seven years ago but at the time it was too big an idea for her. "I was apprehensive. I didn't think I had enough education or knowledge. People at other centers told me I couldn't do it the way I wanted. It was too big for me but not too big for God. I just got out of the way and let things start to flow."

The Center will take anyone who has a true desire to recover. They help the residents with resources and a plan for their life. The criteria for success in some programs is that people have a job, a home, go to school, etc. At the Light of Truth Center they are concerned with recovery first. Without that the job, home and school are difficult to maintain. Vaile says "We encourage the women to get grounded, strengthen themselves, stay here as long as you need to stay here and let us love you until you can learn to love yourself.

The vision for Light of Truth Center is huge. A Recovery House, Transition House, and Apartments so a woman can go from recovery to transition to restoration. And then a hub where they can have NA and M meetings and a recovery store where the residents can learn business skills and help the community.

The Center holds no more than six women at any time. It is a homey, pleasant environment; a small back porch has been converted into a cozy "reading nook.” This home allows a woman to just "be.” The women here tell me they weren't accustomed to a loving environment. They didn't trust other people who showed love. It's hard to trust others when you don't trust yourself. Here they can learn to trust and to be responsible and to make choices. To know there are other ways to be in the world.

Lisa, a tall striking woman who has been at the Center for five months, has been an addict for 18 years. She had been in over ten different treatment centers and recovery houses and still couldn't stay clean. Lisa said "I like it here because it gives me responsibility. I've been clean 15 months. I'm working the program. I never did that before. I stayed clean by willpower and when that was up I relapsed. It's like home here. We get along fine. Last week I felt like using. I shared it with the ladies in the house and that helped a lot. I would not have done that before. I start school in December for three months. I'm real proud of myself. I can be responsible again. I can be honest. I share more. I'm more motivated to do things. I love it here."

Christine has been an addict for over 30 years. She has a strong voice that speaks with intention and clarity. Christine knows very well where she has been and now knows where she is going. She said, "last year in October I was just tired. I went into a treatment center and then I came here on December 10th. I am in school now learning Office Technology. Things have been happening. Sometimes I get kind of scared because they are happening so fast. My children and other family members are back in my life. People are looking at me differently. I'm different. I'm not trying to please people anymore. I like who I am.” Christine is the House Manager at Light of Truth, a responsible position. When a city inspector said they needed someone living there who had been certified in Food Management, Christine took it upon herself to take the required classes. Her Certificate came in the mail the day we met. Another proud moment for someone who hadn't finished a lot in her life prior to this.

Theresa looks like someone you'd want to be your best girlfriend. An addict for 19 years, she started out talking quietly and as she told her \story became more animated. She said, "in September 2002 I went into detox for three days. I started learning about me and tried to discover why I kept going out there and using. When I'm drugging I isolate from my family. When you don't see your mother for five years straight, something's wrong. I've also been in jail. I made up my mind I had to do something different. I was determined not to go back. In June of this year I came to Light of Truth. I was scared. I never had goals before. I set little goals and accomplished them. Being here gave me a chance to be the woman I was lacking for so long. I take on responsibilities. People trust me. I grow with the process. My children get to come here on family day. My sister is a doctor and my family does well. I'm the bad seed. It's time to make my mother proud of me. "

In order to continue to grow the "huge vision" for the Light of Truth Center there are many needs. I asked Vaile what her most immediate needs are as I know there are women reading this article who can help provide them, whether directly or by referring resources. She would love to find people who can volunteer to do Fundraising, Grant Writing, Program Developing, and Accounting & Case Management. If you'd like to help in this way or by sending a check to help support the Center, you can reach them at 410-496-9227.

Publisher & Author - Ginny Robinson

www.onpurposenow.com

Today, at 49, Leonard has long since regrouped, having gone from full-time addict to quality engineer at Lucent Technologies. But perhaps a starker measure of her transformation is what she has been doing at the end of her workday during the last year. In June 2000, Leonard opened the Light of Truth Center, a nonprofit recovery house for women in Baltimore's Penn North neighborhood. Since then she has watched three other women reclaim not only sobriety but also successful careers and lives much like her own.

The fledgling center is staffed by volunteers and is operating on a shoestring budget made up of donations and the leftovers of Leonard's paycheck from Lucent; it's also operating without a state license, which means that unlike traditional recovery programs, Light of Truth clients don't get substance-abuse treatment, clinical therapy, or services for children. But none of that bothers Leonard, whose mission for Light of Truth is simply to offer recovering female addicts unconditional love and an unwavering commitment to help them become fully restored members of their communities. It's that mission, vs more standard, medically driven treatment models, that Leonard is banking on for the program to eventually attract additional funding, expand, and persevere.

"I have an overwhelming desire to provide for folk what I didn't feel was provided for me," Leonard says, citing her myriad failed attempts to get clean through recovery programs that stressed only detoxification, not restoration. "There's a saying that you can be clean and crazy [unless] you begin the recovery process--and recovery is to regain, recapture yourself. I wanted women to be able to do that in a loving environment because most of us haven't been loved or haven't been shown love."

In its brief history, Light of Truth has racked up its share of success stories, with some women going on to work in white-collar jobs and even become homeowners. But more importantly, it does its small part to fulfill an urgent need. According to the Washington-based National Institute on Drug Abuse, 48 percent of all Baltimore emergency hospital admissions in 2000 were related to heroin use. And of the nearly 60,000 addicts who sought treatment throughout Maryland in 1999, more than 30 percent were women.

"There's definitely a gap in residential services and emergency shelter for women," Healthcare for the Homeless President Jeff Singer says. "We provide outpatient services, but when people need a place to stay at night, you won't find it."

Pam Talabis, executive director of Baltimore's Dayspring Phoenix House, a nonprofit organization that provides transitional and permanent housing for recovering women and children, says that without stable housing, attempts to get clean often remain just that. "Sometimes women who get evicted or doubled up with relatives wind up residing in environments that are not drug-free and not safe, and that really inhibits the [recovery] process," she says.

Ken Smith, a recovering addict and colleague of Leonard's at Lucent who heads up collections for Light of Truth at the company, puts it more bluntly. "If every waking moment people around you are getting high, you will use. You can get Detox or you can go to jail, but short of that, you're going to be in the environment to continue to use," he says. Smith went to college through a program at the Maryland Center for Veterans while he was getting clean, but "there are no programs like that for women," he says. "There are no facilities to help them get back on their feet."

Because Leonard knows this firsthand, she incorporated Light of Truth in 1999, hoping to eventually launch a recovery facility for women. When an uncle died and she inherited his house near North Avenue and Payson Street early last year, she quickly turned the tidy three-bedroom abode with piled carpeting and blooming plants into a four-bed recovery house with an off-site apartment for transitional housing. She welcomed women who came to her by word of mouth, and she bundled hugs with strict house rules. Women who "are serious," Leonard says, are eligible for a year of residency, and a contract spells out terms for nominal rent (pending the client's ability to pay), curfews, dress codes, mandatory Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and shared household chores. In addition to safe housing, Light of Truth offers workshops on hygiene, job skills, and holistic healing therapies.

And while Leonard's center is a far cry from larger, more comprehensive and well-funded facilities, its record, like those of other recovery programs, is one of mixed results. Of the six women who have resided there to date, three have made great strides toward what Leonard terms "restoration," or starting new lives.

Seven years ago, Mae, a nurse who asked that her last name not be used, overcame a 26-year bout with pills and powders and crack cocaine--an addiction that had turned her from a "respectable professional who was in denial" into an unemployed petty thief and prostitute who might admit or deny anything to get high. But while, after two years of homelessness and several trips to emergency rooms (where she "could get off the street and be safe"), a heavy dose of NA and various other recovery programs helped her get clean and return to work as a nurse, she says she still didn't feel whole until she met Leonard in late 1999. "It was around Christmas time, and I was lonely," Mae says, her eyes welling up. "Vaile invited me over. You have no idea what that did for me. For the first time, I felt like somebody cared." Mae rented Light of Truth's transitional apartment while rebuilding her credit, and earlier this year she bought a West Baltimore house one block away from the one she'd lost years ago while drugging. Leonard says two other women who have lived in the apartment have also become homeowners.

Leonard acknowledges, though, that Light of Truth is still "green" in many respects, and not all the recovery house's alumnae have found all that they needed there. "I left because I've got problems with authority," says Shelly Tanner, a recovering heroin addict with bipolar disorder who left the center after just four months to live with a friend. But while the structure and strict rules at Light of Truth--such as the requirement that residents be up and dressed by 9 o'clock each morning--nagged at Tanner, she praises the center for doing what Leonard believes sets it apart from more traditional recovery programs. "I'm still working on my issues," Tanner says, "but I know there was love [t]here."

Such sentiments are what binds the women at Light of Truth who, whatever their current economic status, want to feel whole and full of potential--maybe for the first time ever. "There's a saying that addiction is a disease that's baffling, cunning, and insidious," Leonard says. "But we know there is a flip side. And we are here to follow women all the way there."

At that first On Purpose Woman interview, Christine showed me her new certificate in food processing, something she would put to use as House Manager at LTC. Christine observed that she’d never completed much in her life, so this certificate meant a lot. She recalled that the first certificate she ever received was at graduation from detox. “I was so happy you would have thought I’d just gotten my master’s degree or something!”

Last December, Christine’s 38 year-old son was murdered on the street in Baltimore over fifty dollars. An active drug user, he wasn’t ready for the help Christine wanted to give him. “When my son died,” said Christine, “things came up for me that I thought were healed.” She sought a therapist who has helped her. Christine told me, “As bad as losing my son was, using drugs did not cross my mind. This was a big test. The desire to use is just not there anymore.”

Christine’s other son went to prison at age 16 for murder. He recently came home after 14 years, and she is helping him to adjust. With no drug problem, he has focused on seeking employment. She admits that it’s a challenge not to “mother him too much,” as he is still 16 in her eyes. Christine’s 35 year-old daughter—and great support—is pursuing her master’s degree and opening a group home.

Christine continued, “I have done things that other people take for granted but for me were milestones. I got a library card and a driver’s license. I am working on my GED. And, imagine! An addict like me has a passport! I’ve been to places I had only seen on TV—Las Vegas, San Francisco and an island cruise. This year, I went to Italy, and next year, my daughter and I are planning a trip to Morocco. I also own my own home. What is bizarre is that I lived in this same block 30 years ago. I left LTC and moved into my home on January 15th.”

Lisa’s 18 years as an addict left her without many workplace skills, but she never forgot how to type. Lisa attended the Workforce and Technology Center, studied Office Technology and learned all the Microsoft software packages. Her 80 wpm typing speed proved to be a real plus, as Lisa was accepted into a three-month State internship program. Afterwards, she passed the State employment test and got a permanent job as a Secretary III.

Lisa loves her job. “My duties include answering phones, using Word or Excel, processing timesheets and distributing paychecks. Can you believe an addict like me is giving people their checks?” She is most proud of the goals she has set and achieved: getting her driver’s license, attending school, having her own apartment—with digital cable, Internet, home phone, food, all the necessities and much more.

And guess what! She is engaged to be married next year. “I live a more responsible, productive and honest life. I am motivated. If I put my mind to it, I do it,” says Lisa. “Giving back to the community is especially important to me. When I see homeless people just needing something to eat or a friendly voice to hear, I’m available, because I’ll never forget where I came from. I donate to Health Care for the Homeless through payroll deduction. It feels overwhelming to be able to give. I remember that someone was there for me, and I want to be there for others.”

"At those meetings, I met people I could relate to, people I could talk to about my past and not feel so ashamed. In the past, I always felt less than. I fit in at these meetings. I had also fit into the drug world. But this time people just like me were doing life clean. I liked that a lot better.” After another three months, Theresa left LTC clean and sober.

The thing I most remember about Theresa from my first interview is her desire to make her mother proud of her, so I asked her about that. “My mother died last December,” she told me. “But she died seeing me clean and self-sufficient. I’m very proud of that. Her death was also an opportunity to know for sure that no matter what happens, I don’t have to use drugs or alcohol. I got very clear that even if I used, she wasn’t coming back. It would be a temporary way to ease the pain. Now I believe I can tackle whatever comes my way and move to the other side.”

Theresa has two daughters—21 years old and 7 years old. Theresa’s sister has taken care of her 7 year-old from birth, as Theresa was not able to be a mother to her. She is now moving slowly back into her daughter’s life with the ultimate goal of their living together.

Theresa observed that she had never had goals before recovery. At LTC, she started to set little goals and accomplish them. One was to get a job where she could learn more administrative skills and help others. And now, she works at Gardenzia as a receptionist. “I never miss a day of work, and I love what I do. I am so grateful for this job.”

She continues, “I am the first person that people coming into the facility see, and I sometimes share my story and give them encouragement and hope. I never dreamed I could do something like this, as I was always so shy. I have overcome a lot of the shyness and can now express how I feel about where I was then and where I am now. I’m very proud of myself and it shows!”

The 2008 class of Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Fellows—a select group of executive directors of community-based non-profit agencies serving disadvantaged individuals—has been named by the University of Baltimore's Schaefer Center for Public Policy. The 2008 class will embark on a year-long professional development program designed to enhance leadership skills and promote collaboration among the region’s nonprofits by attending their first retreat on Monday, March 10.

Through a competitive selection process, the group of 20 executive directors from agencies that serve disadvantaged residents in the Baltimore metropolitan area was selected for the program. Members of the 2008 class and the organizations they represent include Sabree K. Akinyele, Partnership for Learning, Inc.; Tim Almaguer, The Friends of Patterson Park; Shirl R. Byron, NorthEast Development Alliance, Inc.; Patricia S. Cassatt, People’s Community Health Center, Inc.; Mya Davis, Southeast Youth Academy; Jodi Finkelstein, Domestic Violence Center of Howard County; Carlos Hardy, National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence of Maryland; Karen Heyward-West, Franciscan Center Baltimore; Barbara Huston, Partners in Care; Grace Lee, Maryland New Directions; Vaile Leonard, The Light of Truth Center, Inc.; Joann M. Levy, Women’s Housing Coalition, Inc.; Janice Lockwood, Echo House Multi-Service Center; John Nethercut, Public Justice Center, Inc.; John Nugent, Planned Parenthood of Maryland; Bevin Philip, Eudaimonia Foundation Corp.; Selwyn I. Ray, Maryland Mentoring Partnership; John Ruffin, Reservoir Hill Improvement Council; Karen Stokes, Greater Homewood Community Corporation; and Felix M. Torres Colon, Neighborhood Housing Services of Baltimore.

The program will include a series of four off-site retreats facilitated by UB faculty including Ann Cotten, director of the Schaefer Center; Lenneal Henderson, professor in the School of Public Affairs and senior research associate with the Schaefer Center; and Joseph McNeely, a research associate with the Schaefer Center and nationally recognized expert in nonprofit leadership. The March 10 retreat will take place at the Pearlstone Retreat and Conference Center in Reisterstown. Presenters and panelists will include nationally recognized experts from nonprofit organizations, as well as local colleges and universities, businesses, consulting firms, and government agencies.

“We are very excited to begin working with this class of Weinberg Fellows,” Cotten said. “This is a terrific opportunity to make a difference in the Baltimore community by enhancing the skills of the fellows, supporting their professional development, and facilitating collaborative partnerships among the fellows.”

Applications for the 2009 class will be accepted beginning this coming Aug. 1. Executive directors interested in receiving applications for the 2009 program can place their names on the mailing list on the program’s Web site at http://weinbergfellows.org.

The Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Fellows Program was created by the Weinberg Foundation in Hawaii in 1992 as a leadership development program for executive directors of community-based, nonprofit agencies serving disadvantaged individuals. Introduced in Baltimore in 2002, the program has flourished by providing hands-on interactive sessions focused on improving key management and leadership skills, exploring important issues and challenges, and providing opportunities to network with other agency leaders. Almost 100 Weinberg Fellows have completed the program in Baltimore.

The Harry and Jeanette Weinberg Foundation is the 22nd largest private foundation in the United States, with approximately $2 billion in assets. It annually distributes approximately $100 million to a wide range of charitable organizations. The foundation is dedicated to assisting the poor through operating and capital grants to direct service organizations primarily located in Baltimore, Hawaii, Northeastern Pennsylvania, New York, Israel, and the former Soviet Union. Grants are focused on meeting basic human needs and self-sufficiency. Within that focus, emphasis is placed on the elderly and on the Jewish community. Annual grants to Maryland recipients generally have averaged approximately 25 percent of the total amount awarded. The trustees of the foundation are Shale D. Stiller, Alvin Awaya, Donn Weinberg, Barry Schloss and Robert T. Kelly, Jr. More information on the foundation can be found at www.hjweinbergfoundation.org.

The Schaefer Center for Public Policy is an applied research unit within UB's Yale Gordon College of Liberal Arts. The center's mission is to bring the university’s academic expertise to bear in solving problems faced by government and nonprofit organizations. The center offers the following services: strategic planning, performance measurement, program evaluation and analysis, opinion research, management consulting and management training. It is through the Schaefer Center that the University of Baltimore and the Yale Gordon College of Liberal Arts meet a central component of the University’s mission of applied research and public service to the Baltimore metropolitan area and to the state of Maryland. To learn more about the Schaefer Center, visit their Web site at http://scpp.ubalt.edu.

The University of Baltimore is a member of the University System of Maryland and comprises the School of Law, the Yale Gordon College of Liberal Arts and the Merrick School of Business.